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Are you being haunted by the question: “Am I doing enough?”
First off, you aren’t alone. Most high-performers would likely agree they are constantly using the measuring stick to see if they’re spending enough time with their family, their faith, their spouse, their fitness, their finances or any other element that’s vital to them.
Here’s how I move from a place of feeling and wondering if I’m not enough:
- I recognize that this thought, “I may not be doing enough” is just a thought. It’s a passing feeling. It is not a fact.
- I spend time each Sunday planning out the week ahead with the intentionality of rotating focus.
- Attack and win each day. This will allow you to focus on one day at a time and be less overwhelmed.
The intentionality of rotating focus is clarity of your priorities on a week-to-week (if not day-to-day) basis.
Step 1: Identifying what your primary focus is for the week
You can ask yourself, “What is this week about for me?”
- Will you be leaning in towards business? If so, how will you know if you’ve hit the goal? What does success look like?
- Is it a family vacation week? If so, what needs to be delegated, eliminated or done now so you can be present with your family?
- Is this a week for resetting your health? If so, what needs to be cleared on your calendar so you can begin your new diet, get a massage, go to cryotherapy, etc.?
The goal of this exercise is to get your eyes on your calendar so you can be proactive about how you’re going to spend your time.
Step 2: You take your primary focus and challenge it against everything on the calendar
For example, you can review each scheduled meeting and ask if it’s aligned to the goals at hand for the week. Often, at the time of scheduling the meeting, it may have been necessary but it’s key to check to see if these action items have been discussed since the week prior and if the meeting can be eliminated or transitioned into an email. It’s also a great time to delegate anything that doesn’t require your specific genius.
Step 3: Make time for yourself and your priorities
I look at my calendar through a selfish lens. If I can eliminate a 30-minute meeting, then I’ll block out time to drive my son or daughter to soccer practice. That’s 15 private minutes in the car together that I can be intentional with!
Other times, I’ll suddenly get a gut feeling (or intuition) where I’ve been aware I’ve been plowing into work for a few days and realize I haven’t had a date night or family night in quite some time. It’s a sudden realization that things are out of balance! In those moments, I’ll decide to stop working for the evening, order dinner in or go out to dinner with my family. Other times, it’s time for a date night with my wife that’s been long overdue.
You can proactively plan for things that are continually important to you by blocking them out on your calendar now.
You may want to add:
- Daily workouts
- Once a week family night, or date night
- Stopping points for work early at least once or twice a week
Step 4: Get creative with your time
I realized this summer that my middle son, Davis, and I didn’t have much programmed-in together. I enrolled him in Iron Tribe with me. I intentionally scheduled time to go to workouts together, so now we have the drive time together, time to work out together and time to get a post-workout snack all at the same time.
I didn’t have to take three hours for him to work out, for me to work out and for us to be together: I did it all at the same time.
Find those areas in your life where you can integrate all the things you love together. That’s what life is all about and your calendar is a representation of what matters most to you.
I challenge you to set a Sunday evening calendar review appointment with yourself, block time for what matters (see how much you can fit multiple things you love into one hour as I did with my son), and set your primary rotating focus per week. Your thought “am I doing enough?” doesn’t stand a chance against this system.